Enchanted and Terrified

There’s a moment in Bryan Fuller’s Hannibal’s second season where the psychotic Mason Verger receives a rather unorthodox administration of a “psychedelic compound” from his doctor (and shows antagonist) Hannibal Lecter. Verger instantly starts to lose his grip on reality as he feels the compound coarse through his system. Acutely aware of the danger he is in, Verger exclaims to Dr. Lecter “I am enchanted and terrified”. Whilst I’m not in any similar mortal predicament as Verger, I feel it’s a very concise and malleable quote and one that can appropriately applied to what it feels like to be going through your mid-twenties.

My dad has always told me that the period of your life after you graduate university and start full-time work is one of the greatest periods of life. You’re living out of home, with people of a similar age, and you’re all going through this weird phase of your life together. You’re working full time, you have money, and you also now have bills which is a weird experience, but ultimately you have the freedom to do what you want in life, spending your disposable income how you choose. Which for most people my age seems to be three main things live events, substances and travel.

Half a decade ago I know I used to have these misconceptions that I was old, had everything all figured out and knew who I was. In retrospect I look back and realise that I had absolutely none of that completely figured out and still don’t. I think there’s a misunderstanding that your teenage years are your definitive years of self-discovery and by the time you’re 21 you’re a well rounded individual. Whilst I’m certainly not contesting the idea as a whole, I think it just doesn’t end when you turn 21.

A lot of us are just chucked out the other end of the educational system, with a piece of paper in one hand and a student loan on our back. Standing there, with a blank look on our face as you look out into the void and ask the age old question “Now what?”. Unfortunately for you however, the void of life doesn’t have time for your post-pubescent shit.

But soon enough you’ll snap back to reality and realise you need to do something, you can’t just stand there looking like an idiot and wait to be told what to do. You need to take direction of your own life. You’ll find a job, and it might not even be in the area that you studied. You’ll move out of home, you might even eventually move to another city, or another country! You’ll go travelling, you’ll see the world. Oh, the places you’ll go.

But there you’ll be, as you’ll find yourself in your mid-twenites, out there in the world, enchanted and absolutely terrified. You’ll unintentionally neglect your friends and family that don’t live in the same city as you, you might even neglect those that do. You’ll hurt people in ways you didn’t think you were capable of, and you’ll feel pretty shit about it as a result, surely that can’t be who you truly are. You’ll look at you career (or lack of one) and question on a regular basis your decisions and what you’re doing with your life. But this is it, this is you figuring it all out. Figuring out how to deal with adulthood. Dad might have told me how these are the good years, but he forgot to tell me these years can be equally terrifying. But these are all normal feelings, I mean, at least I hope they are, I really hope I’m not alone in this. Well I guess I’m not truly alone, there’s always the void to keep me company.

There’s a great quote included inside the sleeve of Wild Cub’s debut album ‘Youth’ which has continued to resonate with me through the years which I will leave you with. Hopefully it shall resonate with you somewhat as well.

"Teenage life— possibly adult life too, is all about what you want and can’t have. And then about what you receive and misuse." 

— Jonathan Lethem

'Argentina (Parts I, II, II)' by Tokyo Police Club

Extremely fortunate to have seen Tokyo Police Club play this live last week, easily one of my favourite songs from yesteryear.

If I was an asshole, thank you for keeping a smile on your face

rac:

I’m so proud to finally release my new single “Tear You Down” ft. Alex Ebert from Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros. I’ve been working on this album for so long so it makes me very happy to show you this.

I truly hope you like it,

'All My Friends' by LCD Soundsystem

Whilst this song is not my most played song in my library, I think I can say with most certainty that it’s my favourite. There’s a certain gravity to it that I just can’t seem to escape, and I find that as each day passes it seems to resonate more than ever before.

In my opinion this song is one of best songs written in the past decade, and I truly believe it will hold up for decades to come.

I wouldn’t trade one stupid decision for another five years of life.

Los Campesinos! Summarised

"They’re never going to be big big. But they’re going to be big to some people.”

Los Campesinos! Summarised

"They’re never going to be big big. But they’re going to be big to some people.”

'Shut Your Eyes (demo)' by Keegan DeWitt

I genuinely think that Keegan DeWitt is one of the most talented singer/songwriters of our generation. The work he’s done as a solo artist and that he’s done as part of Wild Cub is nothing short of beautiful, capturing the raw essence of human emotion.

Moving On

I’ve attempted to write this blog post of me moving to London on at least three separate occasions now, with each attempt being as unsuccessful as the last. I end up writing the first paragraph, struggle to continue the narrative of the post naturally and say that I’ll come back to it at a future date. But by the time that I come back to it, what I wanted to write about has completely changed.

But in a sense my ever changing voice is fitting for my experience since leaving New Zealand. The whole ordeal happened within a blink of an eye, buying the tickets on the Monday night and flying out at six the next morning. The next thing I knew I was in a different country, with a different currency and a different set of keys on chain.

So much has happened so quickly that I’m afraid to blink. I’ve moved into my first flat and made new best friends, I’ve travelled for work and I’ve travelled for pleasure, and I’ve had an amazing London Summer and am preparing for a cruel London Winter. The pace of life has become relentless and unforgiving, but at the same time is full of precious moments and tiny conversations that help keep me somewhat grounded.

With every passing day I feel memories of my life in New Zealand falling gracefully through my fingertips. Places and faces become less familiar, because it’s not just the memories that I feel passing me by but my relationships as well. I’ve never been particularly masterful with maintaining friendships, and it’s become abundantly clear since I’ve moved. I know it sounds trite (and a little bullshit), but sometimes life just gets in the way.

A life of new places, experiences and new relationships. The latter of the three, fundamentally being the most important, and thankfully I’ve met some amazing people and made some brilliant friends (cliché adjectives galore). Some of which that I’ve only known for a few days, and some that I’ve known for a few months. But the impact these people have made is enormous and I’m thankful.

It’s been an exciting, yet strange first six months, and I apologise that it’s taken me this long to pen down my passing thoughts. I’m kind of shit when it comes to words, I normally end up just quoting obscure song lyrics as I feel that my musical idols can properly articulate my thoughts better than I. And on that note…

So fucking on, so fucking forth. We’ve got your back, whatever that’s worth.

- Los Campesinos!

Ramblings

So I was thinking about humour on my run today, and how jokes lose the majority of their impact if they need to be spelled out. But I don’t think it’s limited just to purely humour, I think it can be extended to pretty much any medium, whether it be traditional art, music, or film. Granted contextualization of the work is often needed in order to fully appreciate the work, but there’s a distinction between that and the artist stating a message through their work to the point of banality. Personally I prefer subtlety in a piece of work, along with a hint of ambiguity. I feel then it allows the recipient to have their own interpretations and let their imagination flourish.

I’m just realising that I’m pointlessly rambling and there’s no real conclusion. But I’m going to post this anyway.

Hope you all had a good weekend. Please ignore my jumps in logic.

TL;DR: Art is art. That shit is all subjective.

loscampband:


NO BLUES by Los Campesinos!
PRE-ORDER NOW
Album #5 Bethesda (North Wales), June 2013 Produced by: John Goodmanson & Tom Campesinos!
October 2013 on Heart Swells / Turnstile / Wichita Recordings
Gareth, Jason, Kim, Neil, Rob, Tom LC!4LYF
FOR FLOTSAM WHAT DEATH LEAVES BEHIND A PORTRAIT OF THE TREQUARTISTA AS A YOUNG MAN CEMETERY GAITS GLUE ME AS LUCERNE / THE LOW AVOCADO, BABY LET IT SPILL THE TIME BEFORE THE LAST TIME SELLING ROPE (SWAN DIVE TO ESTUARY)
PRE-ORDER NOW TO RECEIVE THE ALBUM EARLY
FREE DOWNLOAD OF THE TRACK ‘WHAT DEATH LEAVES BEHIND’

loscampband:

NO BLUES by Los Campesinos!

PRE-ORDER NOW

Album #5
Bethesda (North Wales), June 2013
Produced by: John Goodmanson & Tom Campesinos!

October 2013 on Heart Swells / Turnstile / Wichita Recordings

Gareth, Jason, Kim, Neil, Rob, Tom
LC!4LYF

FOR FLOTSAM
WHAT DEATH LEAVES BEHIND
A PORTRAIT OF THE TREQUARTISTA AS A YOUNG MAN
CEMETERY GAITS
GLUE ME
AS LUCERNE / THE LOW
AVOCADO, BABY
LET IT SPILL
THE TIME BEFORE THE LAST TIME
SELLING ROPE (SWAN DIVE TO ESTUARY)

PRE-ORDER NOW TO RECEIVE THE ALBUM EARLY

FREE DOWNLOAD OF THE TRACK ‘WHAT DEATH LEAVES BEHIND’

(Source: loscampband)

loscampband:

THURSDAY

Beautiful human beings.

loscampband:

THURSDAY

Beautiful human beings.

(Source: loscampband)